Islamic Peace Conference Fails Because of Jesus, Bernie and Billy


Sometime recently some religious nutters from the islamic faith held what they called an Islamic Peace Conference in Melbourne.  They invited international speakers and everything!  Some chrisitans were outraged!  How dare the muslims gather to talk about peace?  Everyone knows that they’re all terrorist and will bite the heads off babies just because they can.

It seems that the conference didn’t go too well.  Numbers just weren’t what they’d hoped for.  Cue christian fundies taking credit!  Oh look, it’s Billy the Peace Loving Jesus Fuckwit!

Since I have written several articles about the big Islamic Peace Conference in Melbourne, asking people to pray for it and engage in some spiritual warfare over it, it is appropriate that I now record the aftermath of the whole affair.

Billy the PLJF asked people to pray that the conference would be a flop?  And WTF is spiritual warfare anyway?  The god of islam is doing battle with the god of christians?  Thunderbolts and lightening… very very frightening…

The short story is this: thanks to all your prayer and intercession, the whole thing seems to have been a real fizzer. The numbers were nowhere near what they anticipated, and they must have lost a bundle of money as a result. None of their big name overseas speakers showed up, and the whole thing must be leaving the organisers with a big headache.

jesusgunSo in a god like pose Billy the PLJF extends his thanks to you, it’s through the prayers of his good little minions that the whole thing seems to have been a real fizzer.  Thanks to your bended knees the numbers were low and they must have lost money, and what’s more your fervent raising of hands to Billy the PLJF caused the organisers not just a headache, but a big headache!  Well done you!

I had to leave for an overseas engagement, so I could not join a small band of concerned Christians who offered a peaceful and prayerful spiritual presence at the conference. Their presence, along with the prayers of so many others, certainly paid off big time.

Seriously?  A bunch of christians praying paid off big time?  Billy the PLJF actually believes that through his actions he caused this to be a real fizzer?  His god can’t feed the poor and hungry but he can stop a bunch of muslims from having a good time?  I don’t get how that even makes the slightest bit of sense.

Then there was another christian do-gooder called Bernie Power who attended on the conference, another peace-loving christian embarked on a spiritual warfare, here is just some of the crap he wrote:

Free tickets were not honoured. We refused, saying that we had not come prepared to pay $50, since we had free tickets. We said that it was false advertising to issue free tickets and then not to honour them. Eventually a young Muslim reception girl had pity on us and spoke to her supervisors on our behalf and we were let in free.

Oh look at the jesus go!  He got the muslims to honour free tickets!  Woo hoo!

Muslim numbers were low: The organisers had hoped for 20,000 attendees, including 4,000 non-Muslims. However they did not achieve anything like this.  The internal visitor never applied for an Australian visa (probably due to this negative publicity), it was not until the night before that the conference organiser announced on their website that he was not coming. Consequently, only 1800 people instead of 5,000 turned up for the prayers.

That jesus must have told him not to apply for a visa.  He’s so wonderful!  It sounds like he was never going to come, you don’t just rock up to the airport, buy a ticket to Australia and get a visa with a cup of coffee.  It does take careful planning.  It would seem to me it’s more about bad organisational skills.  Did anyone actually ask him?

The other main speaker, a sheik from Kuwait, arrived but fell sick and was not able to attend the conference.

Jesus must’ve turned his water into cow poo!  Praise the Lord!

Muslims were disgruntled at the high price of the conference, expensive food and carnival rides, and the cancellation of some meetings.

See – Jesus made the prices high.  And just like the normal people, the muslims whinge and groan when they have to pay too much.  And just like a normal day out you have to take a lot of money for food and rides!  Who would have thought!

Eventually cold driving rain sent people home and kept them away the next day. Meetings set up to hold thousands were attended by a couple of hundred people. If the conference was relying on gate takings for income, it will be in significant financial trouble.

Ya!  Go Team Jesus!  It rained, god has heard our prayer.  All those years of praying for rain during the drought goes unanswered, but pray for rain on one weekend and the muslims get washed out and a significant financial trouble ensues!  He really is an all-powerful god!

Opportunities for Christian witness were high. Over the weekend, a team of 60 Christians turned up to witness to Muslims. The vast majority, by the grace of God, managed to get in free.

Well, that and the fact that they had free tickets.  A free ticket always seems to get you in for no money, you know, free.

Christians could be seen all over around the conference, making friends with Muslims, asking questions and sharing their faith in Jesus.

What all 60 of you?  Is this like the time jesus took a fish and a breadstick and feed thousands?  Jesus must have been so thankful to all those good little christians.

Sometimes conference staff would order Muslims to stop talking to the Christians and send them away. Despite this, we had hundreds of wonderful conversations about Christ throughout the weekend and arranged to meet up with some more open Muslims afterwards.

Ordered them to stop talking.  Wow.  You must’ve had them on the run.  It’s great that all 60 of you had hundreds of conversations.  All of them wonderful.  I can feel the love of jesus seeping through your words.

Some Christians got kicked out of the conference.

No?  Get the hell outta here.  So some of your 60 christians having hundreds of wonderful conversations had to go?  That must’ve hurt.

Because of their impact, the Christians came to the attention of the conference organisers. Some high-profile Christians were assigned Muslim ‘taggers’ to follow them around and intervene in their conversations.

Fancy showing up at an islamic conference to talk about christianity and being asked to leave.  How rude of the islamic types to find your approach a bit inappropriate.

On the Saturday, one of our Christian team, a former Muslim, rang me in distress. He had been giving out a DVD about Muslims who had come to Christ.

This is like going to a conference about milk and handing out free samples of coke and suggesting that it’s better.  It’s actually just really rude to do this sort of crap.

Some-one complained and he was surrounded by security guards and the conference organiser who were threatening him. The conference organiser (Abdul Samii) was rude and aggressive. We were marched to the Showgrounds exit by the eight guards, and told we must leave all Christian materials in our car before re-entering.

Well hit me over the head with a crucifix.  Imagine standing in a Woolworths supermarket handing out free vouchers for a Coles supermarket.  You wouldn’t be at all surprised if you got marched out and told to leave your opposition materials in the car before coming back in.  We have a word of this sort of  behaviour.  Inappropriate.

The conference organiser was hostile and insulting, saying “Get out! Shut your mouth,” to the four Christians. He told the security guards to escort them from the Showgrounds, and they were ejected.

This is what you get for pretending that what you’re doing is ok.  It’s not ok to get in someone’s face and claim surprise when you get treated rudely.  But you know, christians expect this. Jesus loves them so much that he told them that people will persecute them.

Protests happened on the last day: On the Sunday morning, a group of about 20 ‘Australian Protection Party’ protestors stood outside one of the Showground gates holding posters saying: “No Sharia Law”, “No Mosques”, and “End Discrimination against Women.” They abused Muslims who were driving into the conference. Eventually they packed up and went home.

Well yes, there’s a way to do a protest.  Don’t invade the space occupied by those you’re protesting against.  Wave your banners, have your say, pack up and go home.  That’s how lots of people actually do a protest. On public land.

Thank you so much to the many who prayed, gave or came so that this Conference would be a significant witness to Christ. We will continue to pray for Muslims and plan for other Islamic events that will be happening around Melbourne.

Yeah, you guys, you’re so brave.  I can seem islam crumbling after your great efforts!  Jesus must be so proud of you.  Now back to some closing words from Billy the PLJF.

Well done Bernie, all those who came to let Muslims know of a better way, and all those who prayed so fervently. All this demonstrates that when God’s people get serious and engage in concentrated and sustained prayer offensives, they will see great victories indeed.

Yeah, that’s it.  You christians praying fervently really works.  It’s great to see such a positive demonstration of god’s people.  It’s exactly the same fervent praying that has feed the world’s hungry.  It is precisely because christians get serious and engage in concentrated and sustained prayer offensives that peace reigns throughout the world.  The victories are huge!  This prayer thing really works!

Islam – and any other ideology or religion – is no match for God’s people when they take their spiritual responsibilities seriously and bring some substantial spiritual firepower to rain down upon the various contenders to biblical Christianity.

So, a small band of christians who have the audacity to go to an islamic event that is a flop are taking credit for what exactly?  Their impact is huge!  Muslims everywhere are throwing off the shackles of their women-hating, terrorist plotting faith and coming over to the other side!

Now that’s substantial spiritual firepower!

You go Billy the PLJF.

This entry was posted in religion.

6 Responses to Islamic Peace Conference Fails Because of Jesus, Bernie and Billy

  1. Ross says:

    Do any of the following aspects of Islam bother you? This comes from actual conversations with Muslim evangelists in Melbourne. I asked one of them about the Hajj, which all of them had done, his understanding of Jihad (striving to be a good Muslim), the jizya tax (not at all punitive or repressive in his view), and Sharia law, which he talked about in a positive fashion. He also spoke in favour of polygamy, because women outnumber men, and there aren’t enough men to go around. If a man can have more than one wife, it means that these women don’t have to be alone. He also said some offensive things about Jews and their alleged control of the international banking system.

    • Bruce says:

      All religion is unnecessary.

      The islamic religion is no different. Sharia law is no more acceptable to me than christian law or jewish law, it’s all based on myths and lies.

      In one comment you accuse me of using hillbilly theology and in your next comment you do the same thing.

      I have no problems with whatever relationships people want to have. The only criteria is that they must be consenting adults, they must freely want to belong in the relationship.

  2. roscoe74 says:

    The core difference is that unlike Muslims, I don’t know any Christians (or Jews, for that matter) who want to turn Australia into a theocracy. Some Muslims dream of bringing about a worldwide caliphate. They’ve told me this themselves. And when you go to Coles, Woolies, Aldi, IGA, chances are that many of their product lines are halal certified, whether you like it or not. And you as a consumer are probably unaware of this, and you have no say in how the halal certification fees are being used.

    • Bruce says:

      Just like some muslims want to turn Australia into a theocracy, some christians and jews want to do the same. They’ve told me this themselves.

      The reality about shopping for food is that there are few halal certified foods. Most of the foods in the supermarkets are neither halal or kosher, go check.

  3. Ross says:

    If there are any theocratic Christians out there, and I don’t doubt you that there are, they don’t represent mainstream Christian thinking, and they have little chance of achieving their aims anyway. Theologian Tom Frame touches on this in his book, “Losing My Religion: Belief and Unbelief in Australia.”