The Sabbath, Flying and Texting made simple

So just what is it that brings this Llama out of his semi-retirement holiday of “I’ve got better things to do”.

Is it me old mate Spinksy that thinks he’s clever.  No.

Is it everyone’s favourite Great Uncle Billy?  No.  Although I note he’s not been so busy with the gayz of late, what with all these muslims to worry about.  He’s been telling us for years!

It must be the ACL then, Lyle has finally got the right combination of prayer and money to force his will onto the rest of us?  Nope.

It’s the jews!

Well some of them.  The ultra-orthodox ones that have sparked me fur to stand on end like a million hard soldiers.

Two good stories that show just how stupid religion is becoming!

The first one about the silly men who refuse to sit next to women on aeroplanes, well anywhere at all really.  But in this case, on aeroplanes.

Ultra-orthodox-Jews-in-BrooklynWhen a bunch of ultra-orthodox men climb onto a plane they begin to harass women to move so that they don’t have to sit next to them.  Their religion doesn’t allow them too.  Strangely it does allow them to climb onto the plane and be flung through the air at great speed, but not to sit next to a woman.

Why?  I hear you ask.  I’m glad you did.  It seems that for some extraordinary reason any time an ultra-orthodox man so much as glances at a women he is tempted to have sex with her and if that wasn’t bad enough, the ultra-orthodox have no way of knowing if the woman is having her period.  So they think they can’t sit next to them least they might touch and he will need to have sex, or she might be unclean because she’s menstruating.

If it was my airline that was being held up because a bunch of passengers won’t sit in their allocated seats, I’d kick them off straight away.  You give it a try, get on a plane and refuse to take your seat so the plane can depart.  How long before you are ejected from the flight?  However, if you do it while wearing a possum felt hat, some frilly lace stuff, maybe some white stockings and a black coat you can get away with it.

Next up is the mobile phone app that will allow you to text on the sabbath.  Thank fucking god for that one!  I mean how silly of god not to know back at the dawn of time that one day all good little jewish boys would have a smart phone and want to send a text message on a Saturday arvo when the footy is on!  A complete lack of foresight by the almighty.  The dickhead.

Thankfully Man to the rescue!  Some nutter has devised an app that allows you to use the phone on the sabbath so that you’re not breaking the rule about working or some crap.  The app keeps the screen lit at all times, keeps the battery consumption at an even level and delays the time between pressing the keyboard and the letter being displayed.

God is so fucking stupid that he can be fooled into thinking the phone isn’t being used because the battery isn’t being drained, the screen doesn’t suddenly become bright and the keys aren’t making a noise when being pushed.

It’s better to have the app for the kiddies, because the thinking goes that if they are breaking one rule on the sabbath then they will think nothing of breaking other rules.

Before  you know it the boys will be touching girls and getting tempted to sin.  Worse yet, they might even sit next to one of them on an aeroplane and take a photo.

Well back to my little holiday.  You’ll find me booking 4 seats so I don’t have to sit next to any ultra-orthodox types with mobile phones.

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Blood on the Floor!

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Get a load of this – a priest blogging about children lining up in church and being given a wafer and a sip of wine.  To the catholics this is seen as eating the body and drinking the blood of jesus.  How nice.

“Even if you don’t like the taste,” I told them, “remember that it won’t really be wine at Mass. It will look the same and taste the same, but it will be the Precious Blood of Christ.

So, it looks the same as wine, tastes the same as wine, but really its blood of a someone who died 2000 years ago?  Or, if it looks like wine, tastes like wine then it’s probably wine.

Then there’s a little bit about not drinking the wine from the cup, but sticking the wafer into the wine and eating that.

So I explained to the children that the Catholic Church doesn’t allow that, because the Precious Blood might drip onto the floor.

Better on the floor than being pissed into a toilet and flushed away with shit I guess.  But as jesus commands.

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After the magic words, this is the real flesh of jesus

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God Did It!

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At the Institute for Creation Research in northwest Dallas, a group of nine Ph.D.s from places like Harvard and Los Alamos National Laboratory say all that molecules-to-man stuff is nonsense. And they’re out to prove it.

The biblical story of Genesis is literally true, they say. God created the heavens, earth and life in six sequential days lasting about 24 hours each.

OK, more christian need to prove that the bible is true, despite decades of evidence to the contrary!

The universe is not 13.8 billion years old (as astrophysicists calculate by measuring the rate of cosmic expansion), the earth is not 4.5 billion years old (as geologists conclude by using radioisotope dating on ancient rocks), and humans did not split from chimpanzees and gorillas about 4 million to 7 million years ago (as suggested by genetics and the fossil record).

As I said, despite the evidence.

“Our attempt is to demonstrate that the Bible is accurate, not just religiously authoritative,” said Henry Morris III, CEO of the nonprofit with a 49-person payroll and an annual budget in the $7 million range.

How much?  $7mil a year, say it takes them 10 years.  Serious amount of money that someone is throwing at the concept.  You can buy a 20kg bag of rice for about $150.  Imagine how many bags you could buy over 10 years. (At least 460,000) Could feed lots of people!  But oh no, makes much more sense to plough your money into stupid projects that the rest of the world is laughing about.

“The rationale behind it is this: If God really does exist, he shouldn’t be lying to us,” he said. “And if he’s lying to us right off the bat in the book of Genesis, we’ve got some real problems.”

What?  If god is lying we’ve got some real problems?  We have real problems, the planet is heating up, bees are dying, people are starving.

If god really exist, rice wouldn’t cost so much.

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Bill does Balcony Sex

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I just love a good laugh at the end of a busy hectic week in the real world, you know, where people have normal everyday struggles.  It’s always good to swill a few beers and read something from Uncle Billy.

The abortion scourge is of course simply part of the much larger sexual revolution. The promise of free love and sex without consequences and remorse always was a lie, and we are all paying heavily for it now.

Oh?  Are we?  How so… do let us in on the secret to how you, Uncle Billy are paying heavily for it.

We now have epidemic levels of promiscuity, sexual diseases, teen pregnancies, abortions, busted families, broken marriages, and so on.

LOL – no we don’t!  Have a look at syphilis.  It didn’t reach epidemic proportions in Europe because everyone was keeping their bits to themselves.  It spread real quick! And for hundreds of years, all the way up to penicillin.

A big part of the problem is that we have managed to dumb down an entire society to such a level that most folks do not actually know that 2 plus 2 in fact equals four. Or in this case, that 1 (man) plus 1 (woman) = 1 (baby – at least always potentially).

If there’s a problem with society being dumbed down it’s because christians fuckwits continue this mantra that the only place to have sex is within the confines of marriage.  That thinking ignores the entire history of humanity.  People need to be educated about having safe sex, not pretending that you can’t have sex until you are married.

Sexuality is always about, and has always been about, reproduction – the two are intimately connected. But we are so mentally obtuse and morally deficient that your average young person today does not even realise that sex and reproduction are two sides of the same coin.

Perhaps in your fantasy world that’s the case Billy.  I think you’ll find decent parents will always make sure that their children know the consequences of having unprotected sex.

And this is not some religious observation. The diehard evolutionary atheist knows just as well that the purpose of sex in nature is to reproduce. So the fact that babies are potentially always a part of the mix when humans copulate should surprise no one.

Well, you’ve left out a bit.  One of the purposes of sex is to reproduce.  Sex is also a way to enjoy yourself, without reproducing.  It can be for fun, it can be for love and plenty of times it’s for all three.  Go figure.

Yet plenty of folks seem utterly clueless about this, and are actually surprised if a pregnancy follows intercourse. Well, duh! So in an age of rampant promiscuity and anything-goes sexuality, of course plenty of babies are turning up. And the usual answer today to deal with this is abortion.

I’d suggest to you Billy that if anyone is surprised to be pregnant after having unprotected sex then they are probably a fundamentalist christian.  Again, what’s missing is education.

So the whole sexual revolution needs to be challenged big time. There are heaps of problems involved with it. And one recent story from England shows, at least obliquely, how dangerous things can be. Consider the horrific story of two teens who fell to their deaths while copulating.

The tragic story goes as follows: “Two teenagers have plunged to their death while allegedly having sex on a balcony at a luxury London apartment block. The students, named as Anastasia Tutik, 19, from Russia, and ‘Miguel’, 18, from Mexico, died instantly after falling from the sixth floor of a flat on the banks of the River Thames. The international students had just met at a party where they were celebrating their end-of-year exams.”

Yes, that’s tragic and slightly funny.  But really, it just goes to show what I’ve been saying, you need to practice safe sex.  If you’re going fuck on the balcony be sure you have a safety line.  For Uncle Billy, the tragedy is that they weren’t married.  They’d clearly only just met and where having sex for the fun of it.  By way of celebration.  Just like millions of people have done since the invention of contraception and no doubt people have done since they worked out how great it feels.  Of course, in Billy’s mind the couple were copulating on the floor, man on top sort of thing.  In my mind she was on the balcony rail with him standing in front, overcome with, well clearly it got too much and they let go.

What a bugger.

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On that note, I’ll ignore the rest of his blog, it’s only about abortion and not worth the worry really.

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Pray for all powerful peace

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Did you know that the pope did twitter?

This tweet has been re-tweeted about 6,000 times, not bad I guess.  Franky-poo seems to have over 4 million followers, I bet most of them aren’t catholic or christian.

Anyway, it’ll be news to his god that prayer is all-powerful, pretty sure the deity had that one down pat.  It’s great that so many people see prayer as the answer.

Checking the middle east – nope, no peace yet, pray harder.

Checking the world – nope, no peace yet, pray harder.

Maybe they’re doing it wrong?

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The Moonbattery of the Lamestream Snarfle Wife

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snarfleAnother day and another Uncle Billy blog.  When I read his latest I snorted yoghurt out of my snarfle.  Love Lllama had to get the paper lace doilies to clean up.

Consider this caption beneath a pic in the article: “Former Masterchef contestant Sam Gant and wife Celeste prepare for their new venture at South Melbourne Market.” Now for those not in the know, Sam happens to be a woman, a female. So run that by me again! Her wife? And said with a straight face? Puh-leese!

The article refers to her throughout as “Ms Gant”. So what then, pray tell, is her other? And what is Sam? The husband? Another wife? An it? When we totally massacre the institution of marriage, we end up in these idiotic situations. If we can call her partner a wife, we might as well also call her a rock, or a kumquat, or a farglesuvjf.

So, yes, we do refer to the same-sex partner as a wife or a husband, depending on their sex.  It’s not hard to understand.  How idiotic is that!  Oh, and I looked up farglesuvjf – I can’t find it in an English dictionary, it might be Swedish…

We are just making things up as we go along We are just inventing words, and taking older established words, gutting them of their meaning, and adding instead anything we want. This is sheer madness. And even more frustrating is the fact that any media outlet would even succumb to this moonbattery.

Oh such frustrations he has to simply invent words, although I don’t see how calling your female partner a wife is an invented idea.  Nor has the word been gutted of its meaning.  You know, wife – female spouse.  Doesn’t seem too mad to me.  Moonbattery on the other hand seems like an invented word.

Just how lobotomised are those in the media today that they simply parrot any PC nonsense as if it were gospel truth.

Lobotomised refers to the act of performing a lobotomy.  Isn’t that taking an older established word and gutting it of its meaning?

The mental and moral vacuum found in the lamestream media today is absolutely staggering.

Lamestream?  Made up word?

The most important principle we can get out of this is to understand this truth: social engineering is always preceded by verbal engineering.

That’s more or less where I snorted out my snarfle.

By use of euphemisms, half-truths, deception, and by simply making language up as you go along, their job of smashing society becomes so much easier. And the militant homosexualists along with their PC buddies in the mainstream media have perfected all this. So now we can talk about a woman and her wife as if we are talking about 2+2 and what that equals.

Homosexualists?  A recently made up word by people who what to simply make up language as you go along.  And yes, a woman and her wife is as easy as 1 + 1.

Well, I’m off to polish my snarfle with a damp womble.  Have a good day.

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Pick Your Own Truth Ignore the Facts!

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Hi!

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It’s been awhile, I’ve been busy getting the knots out of my knickers, being hairy has it’s draw backs.  I happen to glance up to see Billy talking about truth, I thought, this’ll be good…

Truth-Telling and Homosexuality

The title should be enough to make me stop and go and play some squash.  Billy really doesn’t get the concept of truth.  Still, let me pull some of his latest truth telling apart for you, after all, it’s good sport.

If ever there was a subject which is almost universally surrounded in falsehoods, deception and misinformation, it is the topic of homosexuality. So powerful is the homosexual juggernaut that very few media outlets are left which will dare to challenge anything it claims.

Actually, take out the word homosexuality and replace it with christianity and you’ve got something closer to the truth.

Not only is the lamestream media pretty much useless here, but the activists have done a great job of taking over the schools, the judiciary, the political sphere, and even the corporate arena. There is almost nothing that takes more courage today, and features more risks, than daring to publicly resist the radical homosexual agenda.

Oh for fuck sake, he sounds just like those Nazis who claimed the jews were taking over the judiciary, the political sphere and even big businesses.  Yep, I went there.

Let me cite a few of these recent voices. And sometimes they come from rather unexpected quarters. One very interesting piece recently appeared by a homosexual historian. In it he argues that nobody is ‘born that way,’ and offers a lengthy case to make his point. David Benkof says in conclusion:

Of course, none of this means people don’t have sexual orientations today, it just means sexual orientations are specific to our culture, and thus not basic human nature. In tech-speak, that means being gay is in the software of some people’s lives, but it’s in nobody’s hardware.
The compelling evidence nobody’s born gay doesn’t necessarily have to shred the LGBT agenda. Legitimate reasons for more liberal attitudes and policies regarding gays and lesbians still exist, such as freedom of association, the right to privacy, and respect for other people’s experiences. But those who demand social or political change because gays are born that way just don’t know much about history.

Yes, interesting.  David Benkof isn’t saying that gay people don’t exist or that we aren’t gay.  He seems to be suggesting that claiming to be born gay isn’t right.  Whether or not that’s true should surely be of limited use.  He’s saying that our current construct in society of gay and or straight is unique to our society.  You should also know that Benkof is a gay orthodox jew who is trying really hard to obey the bible and not have sex with men.  He probably thinks that christians are stupid in thinking the messiah has been and gone, and just for the record, Uncle Billy thinks that Benkof is bound for hell as he hasn’t accepted jesus as his lord and saviour.  Benkof’s whole article is well worth a read where you’ll find this line:

There weren’t straight people, either. Only our society believes people are oriented in just one direction, as gay history pioneer Jonathan Ned Katz, formerly of Yale, explained in his book The Invention of Heterosexuality.

You don’t see Billy quoting that bit of information, nor would he quote this line:

But scholars don’t think the ancient Greeks had a gay minority. Rather, that civilization thought homosexuality was something anyone could enjoy. In addition to a wife, elite men were expected to take a younger male as an apprentice-lover, with prescribed bedroom roles.

Benkof is not a brave voice or using a great deal of courage.  If you took his thoughts to their natural conclusion Billy, sexuality wasn’t a problem in biblical times, therefore whatever the story about Sodom was about, it wasn’t a protest to bum sex.

And also quite revealing is the recent announcement by the Royal College of Psychiatrists that people are not actually born homosexual. Instead, “sexual orientation is determined by a combination of biological and postnatal environmental factors”. Indeed, they even went on to say, “[it] is not the case that sexual orientation is immutable or might not vary to some extent in a person’s life.”

Oh please, even more reason to let people be who they want to.  You don’t have to keep your sexual orientation Billy – you too can get some cock into you.

And a lesbian academic has also come out recently saying some very non-PC things about all this. Sex researcher Dr. Lisa Diamond has looked carefully at some of the research on this, and takes a much more nuanced approach than many of the activists and most of the MSM. Her concluding words are these:

1. fluidity in identity, attraction and behavior is NOT specific to women but a general feature of human sexuality, one which is also confirmed by historical and cross-cultural literature;
2. the various sexual categories currently in use (LGBTQI, etc.) are useful heuristics (mental shortcuts, rules of thumb, educated guesses or stereotypes), but though “they have meaning in our culture, … we have to be careful in presuming that they represent natural phenomena” (38:55);
and 3. it is “tricky” to use these categories for advocating rights based on the concept of immutability “now that we know it is not true … As a community, the queers have to stop saying: ‘Please help us, we were born this way and we can’t change’ as an argument for legal standing.”

It’s interesting to note that Dr Diamonds study “Female bisexuality from adolescence to adulthood” suggests that there is “considerable fluidity in bisexual, unlabeled, and lesbian women’s attractions, behaviors, and identities”.  So, yes, in one sense I can’t say I was born this way, but at the same time I can say to the likes of Billy – fuck off, if I want sex with men then that’s up to me.

Finally, major study has found what many of have already known: relationship issues are among the main cause of homosexual suicide. As one story begins:

While many assume that family rejection is the leading cause of depression among LBGTI individuals, a new study has found that in fact the problem appears to stem predominantly from the higher incidence of relationship problems among homosexuals. Dr. Delaney Skerrett led a team of researchers from the Australian Institute for Suicide Research and Prevention (AISRAP) in studying suicides in Queensland. He found that a leading cause of suicide among “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex” (LGBTI) people is stress from their romantic partners.
“We tend to assume that the psychological distress LGBTI people are often going through is due to family rejection. But it seems that’s not so much the case. The conflict seems to be largely related to relationship problems, with partners,” Dr. Skerrett said. In fact, he said, “The numbers are telling us there’s a general acceptance at the family level,” something he said is “great” and “really heartening!”
Instead, the study, which was published on April 2 in Asia Pacific Psychiatry, found that “LGBT individuals experienced relationship problems more often” than heterosexuals, “with relationship conflict also being more frequent than in non?LGBT cases.” That confirms previous studies finding that homosexuals also face higher rates of intimate partner violence than heterosexuals.

It’s not at all clear that this is a major study, in fact, I doubt that it would be considered major.  If you read the full paper in question you’ll see that there are a number of cautions in it, and this acknowledgement:

There are certain limitations to this study that need to be acknowledged. The information contained in the QSR is collected chiefly by police officers through interviews with next of kin (NOK) and the accuracy of this is likely to be affected by the grief experienced in the loss of a loved one to suicide. We were also unable to analyze all the social, cultural, and psychological factors that may have been associated with the suicides of the individuals studied, particularly as these may have been unknown to the NOK. What is more, the factors we have been able to identify cannot be claimed to have a causal relationship with the suicidal acts concerned because of the nature of this study, and caution should be exercised in interpreting the results.

Yes, we should be cautious about interpreting the results.

Dissent will be punished

So there we have four different voices taking a rather differing line to the orthodox homosexual mantra. But as I said, those who dare to speak out will often be harshly dealt with.

Nobody has been harshly dealt with because they’ve conducted research or even published their findings or essays.  The people who should be harshly dealt with are the fuck-knuckles who cherry pick pieces of information to support their own cause with scant regard to reality.

Nowhere did anyone suggest that gay people should be made straight.  The “major study” actually highlights the need for more resources to ensure the ongoing well-being of gay people.

Given the salience of conflict over sexuality in the life events of the LGBT individuals that died by suicide in the present study, self-acceptance and stigma reduction would seem to be important foci to target.

Another fact that Billy likes to overlook.

Consider just one more recent example of this. One expert who dared to warn about the dangerous nature of homosexual activity has lost his job as a result:

He’s a pioneer in the realm of clinical infectious diseases in the Caribbean. And now he’s under fire for testifying that homosexual intercourse is dangerous to those who practice it—and to public health in general. Professor Brendan Bain, a practicing Christian who serves to treat AIDS patients, was the director of the regional coordinating unit of the Caribbean HIV/AIDS Regional Training Network (CHART) at the University of the West Indies in Jamaica, until his anti-gay sex comments caught up with him.

Bain was fired in the wake of fallout related to his testimony on behalf of a group of churches working to keep Belize’s sodomy law in place in 2012. It took two years, but now he’s paying the price for his beliefs. Bain’s testimony was based on his research, which shows the relative risk of contracting HIV is significantly higher among men who have sex with other men (MSM) in Belize than in the general population. His research concludes the same truth in several other countries for which data is available, including countries that have repealed the law that criminalizes anal sex and countries where the law still applies.

Well, that’s one way to interpret it.  The University says that it had no issue with Bain having the opinion that he did, but then goes on to say that he has lost the support of the community.

While the university recognizes the right of professor Bain to provide expert testimony in the manner he did, it has become increasingly evident that Professor Bain has lost the confidence and support of a significant sector of the community which the CHART program is expected to reach, including the loss of his leadership status in PANCAP, thereby undermining the ability of this program, to effectively deliver on its mandate. It is for this reason that the University of the West Indies has decided to terminate the contract of Professor Bain as Director of the Regional Coordinating Unit (RCU) of the Caribbean HIV/Training (CHART) Network.

So, yes, he was fired in the wake of the fallout – because he lost the support of those he was supposed to be helping.  He was undermining the ability of the program to deliver!  In other words, he’s the wrong man for the job.

Yep, speaking the truth can be very costly today, especially when you dare to speak truth about the homosexual lifestyle and agenda. But it is good to see a few brave voices being raised. We need much more of this of course. But it is a good start, and I will continue to publicise it.

Speaking the truth?  You don’t want to speak the truth Billy.  You only pay attention to the bits that support your position that your god said that gay people should be stoned to death.  All of your ‘truth’ is based on that one fairy tale and you continue to pretend to care about others, when all you really care about is stopping progress in the name of your fucked up small-minded arrogant religion.

 

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Lyle says Thy Will Be Done – just like he wants

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Over at the ACL our new bestest mate Straight Lyle is banging on about the lords prayer being said in Parliament.  The Greens are trying to get rid of the prayer.  He thinks it should stay, no surprises there, and there’s no surprises in what I think either.

Since 1901, the prayer has been recited at the start of each sitting day in the senate and house of representatives by the president and speaker respectively.

So?  In 1901 we hanged people, we thought the indigenous people  needed to be eradicated and women couldn’t vote.  My, how times have changed.

Australia did not become what it is in a vacuum. Christianity had a profound impact on the development of western institutions, including parliament.

Religion has abused its position in  Australia.  It was trusted with our most vulnerable children and it abused them.  How’s that for a profound fucking impact.

While not everyone in Australia is Christian (although more than 60 per cent tell the census they are), nothing changes the fact that Christianity made a significant contribution to making Australia what it is today.

That means that almost 40% of Australians are not christian.  Of the 60% that you’re claiming Straight Lyle, how many do you think wake up every morning and say the lords prayer.  Apart from you.  I’d say about 3 or 4 people.  Claiming that 60% of Australia has the same understanding of christianity as you is a load of shit mate.

It is a simple fact that Christianity is part of our cultural heritage in a way that other religions are not. That is no disrespect to them. The ethics and ideas of other religions simply did not have the same impact on the formation of western values and the Australian nation.

In the early years of white settlement the Irish hated the catholics and spent their time killing each other.  Great ethics

As the pre-European peoples of this land, indigenous people, are of course a huge part of our cultural heritage. Recognition of their cultural heritage is also acknowledged in parliament each day and that is fair enough. The Greens have not sought to remove this.

I don’t know about the phrase “pre-European peoples of this land” where the fuck did that come from.  Did it occur to you Straight Lyle that the reason we recognise the first Australians culture is because we murdered them?  We took their culture and utterly destroyed it.  We stole their children.  The acknowledgement of the land we meet on is way more important than some white bloke muttering a religious prayer.

Most of us would condemn the cutting down of a 113 year old tree, but when it comes to our cultural heritage the Greens are happy to fell any vestiges of the values of our past.

How wrong you are.  Most of us don’t give a shit.  If we did we’d still have lots of bushland and would prevent more logging.  Which tree did you fall out of?

There is a clash of ideas and values occurring in our political discourse. That’s fine, that’s healthy, that’s democracy.

Suggesting that someone’s faith has no place in the workplace, as Senator Di Natale did, is anti-democratic. Why are Di Natale’s views superior?

A clash now is it?  Part of democracy is being elected and putting forward ideas.  Once you get elected you then get to put forward ideas and everyone gets a vote.  That’s democracy.  Here we have a Senator using democracy to push forward an idea, and in true democratic fashion it was defeated.  On what basis do you think he is anti-democratic.

Whether people believe in God or not, the ideas of the teacher Jesus embodied in the Lord’s Prayer are worth reflecting on.

If you don’t believe in god you’re not likely to give the lord’s prayer a second thought.  But let me give it a second thought for you.  It’s shit.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Seriously, this is the start of a prayer?  Telling this god fella that his name is holy and where he lives?

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

The kingdom isn’t coming, and if the same will is happening in heaven then heaven is pretty fucked up too.

Give us this day our daily bread.

Certainly this works, there are no hungry people in the world because all the christians pray every day for bread.

and forgive us our trespasses

Yeah, MPs need to get on their knees and pray for forgiveness because they’re really gonna fuck everyone over.

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Unless there is some sort of punishment we can enact and lock them up.

and lead us not into temptation.

What?  Why the fuck would god lead us into temptation.  Oh wait, he put that tree in the garden and Adam and Eve got tempted.  What a prick.

but deliver us from evil

Well that’s not working, so much evil, just look at what we do to asylum seekers.

For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever and ever.

Australia is a sovereign nation, I know this because the government has a program called sovereign borders.  So the power and the glory really seems to sit with whoever calls herself Prime Minister.

Amen

Yeah, whatever.  The lords prayer is a crock of shit, it does nothing and means nothing.

The idea that humans are not the font of all power is especially worth meditating on. Especially in parliament.

We are the font of all power, we exercise that power at the ballot box.  All those christians prayed to get elected and they didn’t.  The power is with the people, not a pretend deity.

Meanwhile, the Greens have vowed to keep fighting to remove the prayer in the same way they are relentlessly campaigning to redefine marriage.

Oh yeah, don’t forget the gays.  Be sure to stick the boots in again, just to make your great christian point that the Greens have no right to attempt to change the system because they’re on the inside and you’re not.  They are entitled to keep fighting for what they believe.  Nothing wrong with that.

It is time to push back on their vision to deconstruct our civic and family life.

And yet, here they are elected.  So they are representing their view of the world based on the people that elected them.  Did you ever think you have the wrong idea about democracy?

They are a small political party but they have a big voice. Seasoned with grace, we should start to use our voice. Silence is no longer an option.

The ACL is a small party of christian right-wing nut jobs who have no political clout.  They’re just pretending.  Your voice, Straight Lyle is anything but silent.  You and your ACL have been bellowing for years about insignificant matters instead of getting out there and helping real people.  Instead you use your money to fund political fights against duly elected representatives.   That sounds pretty un-democratic to me.

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Jesus, Billy is missing out

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Oh I can feel the despair that good old Uncle Billy is feeling.  He’s gone all wishy-washy at the knees.  He’s just finished a 1453 word essay on the gospel and there isn’t an abortion or gay anywhere to be seen.  That’s remarkable.

If you’re ready for a nap, go and have a read, otherwise, here’s the bits that are at least a little entertaining.

One thing you can always bank on is this: if we preach a wishy-washy gospel, we will end up with wishy-washy Christians. If we proclaim an anaemic message from the pulpits, we will end up with anaemic believers in the pews. If radical discipleship is not taught in our churches, we will not have radical Christian disciples.

That’s right and if you use the gospels to preach hate, then hate is what you get, radical christians hating people.

What is proclaimed and heard in our churches is such a feminised, worldly message that the clear biblical gospel is getting woefully garbled if not lost altogether.

Feminised?  Does he mean weak and ineffective?  Sounded just a little nasty their Billy.

Let’s start with John the Baptist: “In those days John the Baptist came, preaching in the Desert of Judea and saying, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near’” (Matthew 3:1-2).

How near is near?  Two years, twenty, two hundred?  How long do you have to wait for the kingdom to appear before you can say a long time?

Jesus offered the same message: “From that time on Jesus began to preach, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near’” (Matthew 4:17).

Seems jesus is on the wrong bus or he missed the stop.  The kingdom is not near to anything at all.

The very heart and core of the gospel message is almost entirely missing from the New Age mumbo jumbo and self-centred baloney of these pop pastors. Instead you will constantly hear a message about how good you are, how you can live a better life, how you can have great wealth, and how you can even lose weight for Jesus.

That just sounds like professional jealousy Uncle Billy.  Are you poor and stacking on the kilos – you probably need jesus.

So where is the gospel in all that? Whatever happened to the simple truths which John and Jesus and Peter and Paul proclaimed? Whatever happened to the core message that we are sinners under the wrath of God headed to a lost eternity, and unless we repent and put our trust in Christ, renouncing self and making him Lord, we are all doomed?

Oh doom, doom, doom.  The kingdom is near and you’ll be all burning in hell if you don’t jolly well sit up and pay attention to Uncle Billy.

It must be so hard to be a biblical christian these days.

angry-jesus

 

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Australian Christian Ray has a dummy spit!

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My friend Ray at the Australian Christian party is a bit sad that no one is taking him seriously!

In 2012, all media, including the ABC were invited to the launch of the newly registed political party Australian Christians; a party seeking to represent the 19% of Australians who attend church once a month or more. No journalists attended.

Oh goodness me, what long memories you have.  Still hurts does it?  The media paid you no attention at all?  How will you cope!  Fancy being ignored by the media!  How dare the media decide what’s news worthy and what’s not.

Tonight the ABC news featured a lengthy article on the newly anounced pro gay marriage party seeking to elect candidates to the Senate in 2016. This party represent about 1.5% of australians who identify homosexual and is not registered with the AEC.

Oh my goodness me, how dare the ABC take their cameras out to Melbourne Pride March and not only film the march but do an interview with a new party.  Did you have a similar event to launch your party?  How much work did you put into the launch?  Was there a thousand beautiful bodies to draw the media in?  Oh, and you do know that Channel 9 and 7 also covered the event?  Why have you singled out the ABC for not reporting your launch?  It must really be a pain to be ignored.

In the past few years, the number of federally registered political parties grew to over 50. How many newly registered political parties did the ABC publicise in the same way they did with this new pro gay marriage party on this evenings news? How did it qualify for so much tax payer funded attention and free publicity?
I have asked the question of the ABC but do not expect a reasonable reply.

Oh please.  Why do we have the ABC do anything at all?  At one time Cardinal George Pell was on Q&A for a whole hour.  Once upon a time we had to watch the burial of a dead pope, hours were devoted to watching a puff of smoke come out of the chimney.  Why shouldn’t it cover all areas of the world and not just one that supports you.  Why don’t you just put your dummy back in your mouth and play with your hair?

ozchristians
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