Hasidic headwear

June 29th, 2009

Fur flies over threat to Hasidic headwear.

Hasidic Jews wear a shtreimel, a hat. It would seem that the hat is made from animal fur, and some poor mammal has lost its tail so it could hang around the head of an observant jew on his way to the wailing wall for Friday night prayers.

The hats can cost up to $4,000 (for a hat!) and many animals must suffer and die for this. It’s not even a religious thing, the history of the shtreimel seems to be embed in 18th century Europe where jews were expected to wear the hat (or a tail) as a way of identifying that they were not working on the sabbath.

With the proposed law carrying a punishment of a year in prison, Rabbi Moses asks who will pay for the prisons to house all the law-breaking Jews who import the wrong kind of fur

You can’t be serious. I think the idea here is that the law would be passed to protect the animals from unnecessary and cruel deaths, why on earth would you let yourself be locked up because of it.

Another example of the craziness of religion.  My suggestion would be to get a nice polyester hat with some cotton mixed in and perhaps a lovely wool blend… unless you have trouble wearing different kinds of material.  It’d also be good if some of the die hards could take a really good look at themselves and realise just how silly the hats look.

Traditions are great things, but really, this one has had its day and its time to let it go, just like we let go of women belonging to men, or singing the national athemn at the end of a film or wearing animal fur as a way of keeping warm.

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Melting Pot

June 28th, 2009

Last night I sat around a table of twelve people. To my left was my love Llama and then a variety of crusty old Russians who have come to Australia. Here is me, the Llama family, been a part of Australia for well on 200 years, sitting around a table with a bunch of new Australians, or Australians of only one or two generations.

The occasion was a marriage. The two where imports. From Russia and Argentina. As the newly happied couple gave their speech, they spoke about a common background, how their families had fled from oppressive regimes.

And it still happens, people arriving from far flung places looking for peace and security.

I think it is one of the great strengths of this nation – the ability to welcome people from all over the world.  Long may it continue.

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Michael Jackson Dead

June 26th, 2009

So, he’s snuffed it at 50.

This Llama waits to see how this will be treated.  The 450 + articles on Google news seem quite clear that it’s a dramatic departure from life, the word ‘rush’ ‘unexpected’ and ’suffering’ seem to come up a lot.

Will this be another media frenzy, will there be another outpouring of world wide emotion, and how many of us will shrug the llama shoulders and move on?

Watch this space.

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Christ Saves!

June 21st, 2009

LightFM-CSI

Saw this sticker on the back of a car as I was heading out for brunch.

So, christ saves individuals.  I wonder if that’s like saving postage stamps.  Does he wrap them individually too?  And just where does he save all these individuals?  Do they need refrigeration? Do they need deep frying?  Can they be reused in the future?  Is the  saving forever or just until there’s an upturn in the market and they can be sold for a good price on ebay?

And how does this work in with, oh lets say a tsunami, I bet that was a busy time, or the bushfires – two hundred to save there, does he save the individuals before or after they drown or burn?

I bet jesus will buff them everyday, and no doubt will listen to Light FM as he’s doing it.  Good wholesome music with a message of hope.  Just what you need when you’ve got a busy day of doing a stocktake with all your ‘good friends’

The designer of the sticker must be a blessed person to come up with such an idea, no doubt inspired by the lord and a desire to make a buck.

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Bleeding Heart

June 20th, 2009

It may have slipped you by, but yesterday was the Feast of the Sacred Heart.  How careless of you.  On this very special feast day you are expected to rip out your heart, cover it in a crown of thorns, pierce it with a lance and somehow get it to shine.

You then attach it to the outside of your shirt and mop up any extra blood.

If you don’t think you can manage that, then I suggest you do it on someone else.

The image above (Credit to my Love Llama, taken in Melbourne) has a big poster with the following written on it:

Devotion to the Sacred Heart is a wonderful historical expression of the Church’s piety for Christ, her Spouse and Lord, it calls for a fundamental attitude of conversion and reparation, of love and gratitude, apostolic commitment and dedication to Christ and His saving work.  For these reasons, the devotion is recommended and its renewal encouraged by the Holy See and by the Bishops.  Such renewal touches on the devotion’s linguistic and iconographic expressions; on consciousness of its biblical origins and its connection with the great mysteries of the faith; on affirming the primacy of the love of God and neighbour as the essential content of the devotion itself.

Did you read that?  You didn’t did you!  It took me three times to get through it.  What a lot of waffle.  How can any sane person make sense of this twaddle.  What sort of dim-witted non-thinking sheep bleats this crap.  Ah, yes, that’d be the catholics.

And for fuck sake, why is it so graphic?  Who in their right mind thought it was ok to depict the dirty little jew boy with his heart on the wrong side of his chest?

That’d be another mystery of faith that eludes me.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go off and pray the rosary with my glow in the dark beads.

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Brains kept in gum boots

June 19th, 2009

[SOURCE]

A poll conducted on behalf of a gay lobby group seems to indicate that a majority of Australian’s are happy with the concept of gay marriage.  No surprises there really, the figure has been increasing over the years.

I don’t really want to focus on that, I want to focus on the readers comments to the poll.  Some of them have got their underpants on their heads and their brains in their gumboots.

Let me pick a few out for you:

why do gays have to be married? Marriage is between men and women and is sanctioned by my church.

Gays don’t have to be married, but if they do want to get married, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be in your church.  You’ll also be pleased to know that marriage is actually sanctioned by an act of parliament and that act grants your church the right to perform a marriage.

The idea is absurd as marriage is an institution designed for people to have a legal commitment to eachother primarily for bringing up their children. To allow same sex marriage makes a mokery of this.

Cool – so let homosexuals marry so they can raise children under a legal commitment, then those that don’t want to have children can do the non primary reason to get married, oh, that’d be love.

BUT, marriage is a RELIGIOUS rite, not a Government concern. Gay marriage supporters should lobby their religious leaders on this, not parliament. The Government should never mandate to the Church what it should support and believe in just as the Church should never assert itself above the Laws of our Commonwealth. Keep them seperate and keep them both out of our lives.I am waiting for the day that I can marry my goat. After that, I want to get on the free IVF program (funded by the tax payer ) and see if we can have children (mini minators??)

Oh I love this one – the idea that marriage is religious, even though it is actually governed by an an act of parliament.  And its about time somebody mandated to churches what they should be teaching, there is too much vile nasty stuff coming from churches that is really unacceptable.  This nutter thinks that the church should not assert itself over the laws, but yet is happy to dictate who can get married.  Then the whole thing about goats, what is it with these christians that as soon as you mention same sex marriage that they want to go out and fuck a goat.  Not much thinking going on there… oh, wait, its a christian.

Sorry but I am against gay marriages as it goes against Nature, bible teachings and my own beliefs. I do not believe that test tube babies etc should be brought into this world and be handed over to same sex couples. Sorry this is abhorrent to me.

How do you know what goes against Nature (and why the capital N?) – did I miss the rule book somewhere?  This person is way too sorry, must be a catholic.

Lets gays marry by all means, but they DO NOT have the right to adopt, surrogacy or i.v.f in my world. Children is a right you give up when you choose to have a same sex relationship. You may not have your cake and eat it too.

I don’t know why you’d stop gay people having children, but if you are about to decide who can and can not be parents, then I think we should prevent anyone from Melbourne’s western suburbs or Frankston from being parents, anyone who drives a Commodore and anyone who eats food from McDonalds.

IT’S ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND STEVE

I bet he thinks he’s being clever with that.

As previously stated this is a religious isse. The gay lobbyists should target churches. This has nothing to do with government. Government already meddles in far too many things which thewy should stay out of. PS Gays will never be happy no matter how much we cave into their lobbying. as soon as they get their way on one issue they move onto the next. I thought the civil unions was to address their property rights concerns. Will it ever end.

It’s not a religious ‘isse’ at all.  Its a civil matter that’s being dictated to by a small bunch of christian right wankers.  And why should anyone stop short.  Full equality for all people is what is expected in this world of ours.

I don’t actually have a problem with homosexuals but let us at least be honest – sodomy is a disgusting habit and anyone that practices it (whether they be male or female) is a filthy degenerate. Call me a bigot if you will, but the facts speak for themselves.

Right – I think eating snails is fairly disgusting, I think picking your nose and eating it is fairly disgusting, I think fungus on toe nails is fairly disgusting, I think women menstruating is fairly disgusting, I think snot is fairly disgusting, I think child birth is fairly disgusting.  Oh, and anal sex (not the bibilical term sodomy) has nothing to do with marriage.

Are we truly a Christian nation? If so, we believe that the Bible is the final authority of God. A sexual relationship between a couple of the same sex is forbidden by God according to His Word. This has nothing to do with not respecting other peoples beliefs or being bigoted but everything to do with honouring what Gods Word teaches. We are not called to judge others but are responsible for upholding Biblical principles in our own lives and in our nation.

Christian nation?  No.  Bible is rubbish, written by mushroom eating hippies, there is no god to forbade anything, lest of all where I put my dick.  Gods Word teaches you to be a bigoted idiot.  I think you’d be much happier in Iran.

I know the world is full of rednecks, but I was rather hoping that they couldn’t write and with the on going process of evolution might be breed out of the gene pool.

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Pre-packaged Jesus

June 12th, 2009

Hey the guys over at ChurchPartner.com have got a great idea!  They’ve got portion controlled jesus!  Woo hoo!!  You can get jesus in a box of 100, in individual cups, they’re packaged and sealed for purity.  I think that’s the purity of the contents, not your personal purity.

I guess you have to be really careful when taking the body and blood of the lord jeppers creepers.  It needs to be portion controlled, because if you have to much of it you might start speaking in tongues or worse singing songs of praise.

I like the fact that its new and improved, it now has a Push Up and Peel Back Tab and what’s more, just in case you didn’t hear the pastor say the magic words, printed on the tab at the top it says “This is my body, which is broken for you: Take, eat: do this in remembrance of me.”
I don’t know how we ever got by. Fuck the environment, fuck the joy of swilling wine from the same cup, fuck the joy of breaking bread together, lets do this on a one on one basis, that way we don’t have to share and everyone gets exactly the same amount of the saviour. I feel so blessed.

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Llama dung

June 8th, 2009

If you eat llama dung you get swine flu, it’s a well know scientific fact.

If you’re a pig in Egypt, expect to be deaded.

If you’re the flu in Israel be prepared to be called Mexican.

If you’re a muslim nutter have a look at this YouTube video.  Is this guy for real?

If you’re a christian – get ready for the second coming of the messer.

If’ your a priest, stick a mask on – and don’t forget you may be interfering with god’s plan by wearing it.  Some churches have even go so far as to order individual packaged wafers and single serve wine cups.

If you’re a sane person, turn the TV off, ignore the articles in the paper, find a music station.  Even if the swine flu is as bad as the predictions make it out to be, the media doesn’t help.  We don’t get facts, we get dumb arse reporters asking inane questions of people under quarantine.  “How are you filling in your day?”  “How do you feel?” “Are you getting better?”  “Do you think its fair to quarantine you?”  Then we get some dumb arsed vision of people wearing masks.

So, I bet there’s lots of prayers being said to stop the spread of the dreaded piggy illness, to those doing the praying, why would your god listen to you, it seems that he isn’t.  If he is and you claim that without your prayers, it’d be worse, why does he discriminate, and on what basis.  Perhaps, you should get off your bended knee and go do something useful, you know, like look after the sick.

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The rot goes on

June 3rd, 2009

‘Next Pauline Hanson’ joins One Nation.

Back in 2008 someone thought it’d be a great idea to build a school at Camden, just outside Sydney. [SOURCE]  It just happens that the school was to be an islamic school.

Enter Kate McCulloch – local mother of  6, catholic and local resident of 12 years.  She doesn’t want the bloody school anywhere near her.  “They” don’t fit in to the Australian way of life.

Anyway, she got her way and the school plans where squashed.  Now she’s going to stand for the One Nation party – a bunch of racist red necks 1950’s style people who want to keep Australia just for the whites.  Lucky us.

The real problem is that of religion.  I can accept that people from different countries of the world do things differently, but that’s not a reason to hate them.  Any education that is faith based is a bad idea.  Really, it is.  People end up being taught fanciful notions about god and the world.  It’s bizarre and just wrong and should be stopped.

But its not just the islamic schools that need to be stopped, its those bloody catholics too.  Our children are much better served learning about human rights and not about dead goat herders who fucked their flock.

So McCulloch wants to ’say the truth and what I think’.  That’ll be her version of the truth.  The truth is, she says, that there is too much money and time being spent on helping poorer countries overseas and helping asylum seekers.  She wants our farmers to have more help.  Fair enough.  However, did it occur to her that the farmers in the poor countries don’t actually have much, you know, no banks trying to fore close on them.  No cars to fill with diesel to claim the diesel excise rebate, no boarding schools to send the kids to to get a good rounded education.  No, they just have fuck all – so it makes sense to rip the money away from those that need it and give it to those who don’t really need it.   And leave the asylum seekers alone.  The poor bastards need to get out of their country for whatever reason and find a better life, its the least we can do, take them in, cloth them and feed them.  Treat them like our brothers and sisters – oh wait, that sounds a bit christian doesn’t it.

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,  I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

He will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.

Did you get that?  You have to look after other people, you know, take them in and feed them.  Hey, it’s your fucking religion, might help if you understood just what it was all about.

McCulloch also took aim at multiculturalism.

“We need to keep the Australian culture, the Australian way of life,” she said.

“I really feel the two major political parties are not doing anything to help the everyday person. They are too busy being politically correct. No one speaks honestly.”

Australian culture?  WTF is that anyway?  I think we Australians have greatly benefited from having people of other cultures join us.  The smellls that come out of my kitchen now, compared to that of my childhood – spices, herbs, vegetables, all introduced by cultures other than angl0-saxons.  And what sort of dumb-arsed hippy thinks that the major policitcal parties aren’t doing anything to help everyday Australians?  Of course they are, because they understand if you do nothing, if you piss off the voters, they won’t vote for you.

So, get a grip, understand what your faith requires of you, then ditch it.  And for fuck sake try being nice to those in real need.

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Gruen Transfer

May 14th, 2009

Now I’ve seen some pretty offensive things.  I’ve said some pretty offensive things and I’ve been the brunt of some pretty offensive things.  This Llama at times is an offensive thing.

The Gruen Transfer tonight pulled a segment from their show as it was a bit much to take.  I won’t link to it, you can find it yourself.  It takes a lot to offend me, not that I’m saying I was offended, but today it came close.

That’s not the aim of my rant today.  I’m a twitterer – you can follow me on twitter – brucellama.  Tonight I was following the discussion tagged #gruentransfer and was amazed to see overingtonc make a crass and bad taste joke at the expense of Jews.

Overingtonc has a link on her twitter account to a blog on the Australian. That Australian blog is Caroline Overington.

Shame on you Caroline Overington.  6 million Jews were murdered during the holocaust.  It’s not funny and your tweet was not funny, it was in bad taste.

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