Of Stubborn Mules.


I love Sheep.  One of my best mates is a Sheep.  Sure, at times he drives me mad, but I love him all the same. I don’t want to marry him, too many dags.

One of the sheeple that I would never want to marry is Billy the Mule.  He’s got his hairy bits in a knot because the Obama Administration has come out and said that gay rights and human rights are the same thing.  In fact Obama is committed to using the “tools of American diplomacy” to ensure that nations around the world treat people who are GLTBI as humans.  The US is prepared to use their foreign aid to help them achieve equality.

Obama isn’t talking about forcing nations into legalising marriage equality, he’s really talking about this:

 I am deeply concerned by the violence and discrimination targeting LGBT persons around the world  whether it is passing laws that criminalize LGBT status, beating citizens simply for joining peaceful LGBT pride celebrations, or killing men, women, and children for their perceived sexual orientation.

In some places, like Uganda, being gay will get you locked up, the government there would in fact like to kill you1.  Iran hangs their poofters2

Billy the Mule takes this very well-intentioned move by Obama and makes it a slippery slope argument:

No stone will be left unturned and no expense shall be too great to ensure that the homosexual revolution is unleashed on the rest of the world, whether they like it or not. All the resources at the disposal of the American government will be used to force the homosexual agenda onto the rest of the world, and those who are not too thrilled about all this will just have to grin and bear it.

It would seem that Billy would prefer to allow nations to hang their own citizens.  Way over the top to suggest that the US is going to use all its resources to ‘unleash the homosexual agenda’.  In Billy’s mind, gay people are evil.  They can be made heterosexual and if necessary they should be forced to be so.

But let me go back to these words of wisdom from Obama: “no country should deny people their rights because of who they love”. Oh really? No one? So if a guy in Sweden is madly in love with his pet sheep, he should not be denied his rights to do his thing?

Umm….what? Firstly, I don’t think Obama is actually talking about animals.  Sure, there are moves afoot in the world to treat animals with more respect and use pronouns when talking about them3 (and I’m all for that) but generally speaking the ‘who they love’ is talking about human to human.

It's consensual. Don't panic

Not human to animal.  Billy of course simply makes the animals, in this case a sheep, an object.  He doesn’t understand that animals have rights too.  Sure, some of us enjoy to eat them, but apart from that, sheep are not objects for us to abuse, whether it’s through live sheep exports, inhumane slaughter or using them for sexual gratification.  It’s always wrong to force anyone (in this case, I’m using anyone to include animals) in to having sex.  Animals, as far as I can tell, can not consent to sex with different species.  It’s also interesting to note how quickly christian fundamentalists quickly go from gay sex to animal sex.  It’s like the two are connected in their brains.  Perhaps if they ditched the religion thoughts there might be enough RAM to accommodate more serious thinking.

Talk about gay rights?   The gay’s can’t have any rights because then they’ll want to fuck sheep.  The gay’s can’t have any rights because then they’ll want to fuck children.  He then goes on to suggest that treating gay people equally will lead to incest, multi-partner marriage and marrying your iPod.

As Sam Schulman put it, ‘If we grant rights to one group because they have demanded it – which is, practically, how legalized gay marriage will come to pass – we will find it exceedingly awkward to deny similar rights to others ready with their own dossiers of ‘victimization.’

Heterosexual couples at some point thought marriage was a good idea, it was granted to them, not only in religion, but also in civil law.  And guess what, when you grant rights to one group then others will want it too.  And yes, as a civil society we need to discuss how we handle the rights of other partnerships, all the way day to sex between consenting adults, regardless of their blood relationship.  Some of it’s a bit tough to think about, but think about it we should.

There’s a stark reality in life that christians like to ignore.  People already have sex with those of the same sex.  People already have multiple partners.  Sex between consenting adults in the same family already happens.  Who are you Billy to question this?  If people are in a relationship, then the terms of that relationship need laws around them to protect them.  The last thing the world needs is to ignore reality.

As a variety of relationships already exist, recognising them in law, either through a register (that may mean marriage) or via a statute of some sort (i.e. once you’ve been together two years, you’ll be deemed to be in a relationship) is very important.  It will protect people, set the ground rules and then go on to cover what happens if the partnership should dissolve.  That’s the way grown ups deal with it.  The key to all adult relationships is consensual.  Nobody wants to have sex with you Billy if you don’t want to have sex with them.  You can’t ‘turn gay’.  It’s time to stop forcing your narrow, outdated religious evils, on the rest of the population.

And if someone gives you some flak about your real close relationship with your iPod, just call in the Marines; Obama is waiting and willing to help you out.

Billy, Billy, Billy, even though you are jesting here, reading between the lines, you’re saying that if some nation makes   homosexuality illegal, the gays have nothing to worry about because the USA will send in the troops and invade.

Such delusions.

  1. The bill has not yet been passed by parliament, but that fact that it’s there is deeply disturbing SOURCE
  2.  Around 4,000 people since 1979 have been hanged in Iran SOURCE
  3. PETA has this articleon how we talk about animals and the language we use.  There’s some merit in it
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