Every world shattering event needs a theme song:
So, Pope Benndydick has called it quits. Â In the clearest sign yet that there is no god, the pope has gone and left his job without divine intervention!
For thousands of years the Pope has to wait until god ‘calls them home’, it apparently is god’s way of thanking his representative on earth for all the hard work he’s done.
I can just imagine the pope’s silent and wasted prayers to his god. Â ”Please god, I’m so fucking tired, this job gives me the shits, all these kiddie fuckers to protect I just don’t want to do it. Â And then there’s theÂ whole twitter thing. Â I can’t trust the butler, there’s all these gays and people fucking! Can’t you kill me now?”
Instead of waiting to be smitted, Benndydick just gives up and goes off to a nice little palace where plenty of nuns will fuss about him and fluff him. Â His pillows. Â God must be really pissed off to have the supreme pontiff quit on him.
Now, in true style of religions around the world, the people who support the church, the people who do the work, they won’t get a say about who leads them. Â Instead they’ll have to fund a bunch of guys in dresses and stupid hats fly to Rome to sit around and wait for the holy spirit to give them the name of the next pope.
And somewhere, someone will be looking through the prophecies of Nostradamus hoping to discover the end of the world is nigh!