Now it came to pass…

Judges 4 (It’s a biblical reference… look it up)

So, Ehud (important bible dude) snuffed it and without him the Israelites did evil things, so bad that their ever loving but bastard lord god sold them.  It’s not clear what he did with the money, or maybe he got some goats and alpacas.

The codger he sold them to wasn’t very nice, I rather suspect that the ever loving but bastard lord god knew this when he did it.  In fact, they got treated so badly that they did cry unto the ever loving but bastard lord god who promised to deliver them from the man who he sold them too in the first place.  I wonder if he got a discount.

Then this dude with 900 chariots did give chase to the Israelites but the ever loving but bastard lord god did go out and get rid of them all by the sword, now these were the people that the ever loving but bastard lord god did sell his people to in the first place, fully aware of what a bad bit of work they were.

Then the leader of the chariot riders went to a tent of a friend to rest, and the wife of this friend waited until he was asleep and went into the tent and drove a tent peg through his head and killed him, while he slept.  She found a hammer, managed somehow to hold the peg still above his head and drive it through his skull with the hammer.  Way to go wonder woman.

The ever loving but bastard lord god is a bastard.

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One Response to Now it came to pass…

  1. Andrew says:

    The bile (sorry – bible) is so full of this shit… “Thus Borat of Almaty said unto the dribble-chinnians ‘Ye, your nostrils are so full of snot that the angel of the lord will smote you with a double spray of sinex’ and the angel of the lord came unto the dribble-chinnians with a really really large kleenex and shoved a tube of sinex up the hooters of the unbeliever dribble-chinninans and ye their nostrils were cleared by the glory of the lord and their snot was rent asunder. The dribble-chinnians fell unto their knobbly knees and worshipped Borat of Almaty and groped his man-kini in homage to the glory of the lord and Borat of Almaty got a huge stiffy that looked sort of like a cucumber on steroids. This is the word (sort of) of the lord (or something like that)”. Did I mention the bible is full of this shit?