5 Conclusions I Firmly Believe


Over at the The Christian Post Perry Noble has been talking about things he firmly believes but leaves out the really good stuff that he also firmly believes.

He’s a sweet guy that thinks jesus will save him for his wise words in saving all those sinners.  He’s excited because he’s been reading 1 Timothy 2:3-7 – hey, 1 Timothy 2 has 15 verses.  Why are you just picking out a few?

Let’s have a look at 1 Timothy 2 that he talks so fondly of:

1 I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—

All people – how inclusive!

2 for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.

Yes, kings and leaders need to live in peace, I can see why he likes that line.

3 This is good, and pleases God our Savior,

This is where he’s getting excited, it’s nice that god is happy when the kings are happy.  It explains so much about war.

4 who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

Oh yes, I can see why he thinks this is important, gives him a puffed up sense of importance, but if their god wants all people to be saved, why did he make it so fucking hard, the rules are impossible to follow, vague and inconsistent.

5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus,

I bet he’s nearly hard by now, one god!  Everyone else must be wrong, so we best listen to him.  Oh, great, but now we have to go to god through he’s middle man- but wait, isn’t that his son?

6 who gave himself as a ransom for all people. This has now been witnessed to at the proper time.

Gave himself?  I thought god told him to do it.  But there you have it, jesus was selfless, just like this bozo, he thinks he’s giving himself as a ransom too – so that he might save you.  Arrogant prick.

7 And for this purpose I was appointed a herald and an apostle—I am telling the truth, I am not lying—and a true and faithful teacher of the Gentiles.

Good on Perry Noble thinks he’s been appointed.   He says:

I was called, gifted, equipped and am expected to be a HERALD of the GOSPEL!!! Once again, if I am not focused on proclaiming the Gospel to a world that does not know Christ…then I am NOT fulfilling HIS primary calling on my life!

Ahem.  And he actually believes this shit?  Are you serious?  And what about the bible passage, you have to tell us this is the truth?  You’re not lying?  Why do you say that?  Do you think we might think you’re making this crap up?

Now the rest of it he doesn’t want to talk about, but you can bet he thinks this is just as important – but he knows how unpopular this would be.  Mind you, it’s so akin to some rabid muslims making sure their woman are always covered and never seen outside the home.

8 Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing.

Well, that’s not working too well is it.

9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,

Hang on, men should pray by lifting up their hands, but women should dress modestly, they should behave themeselves and not wear expensive clothes.

10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

And who decides what’s appropriate and what’s a good deed?

11 A woman[a] should learn in quietness and full submission.

Oh, well, where does that leave our Prime Minister?  Hilary Clinton?  Well, women everywhere really.

12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.

Ummm… problem…. women are people too.  Why do you want to shut them up?

13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve.

Oh, right, so that means that it’s all ok.  Men are more important because they came first.

14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.

Yeah, the fucking bitch.  That cheap fucking harlot.  She’s the downfall of all humanity.

15 But women[c] will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

See – it’s all ok.  Even though those vile wenches fucked it up for the rest of us, if they have kiddies and continue to believe and live in love and holiness and with propriety, whatever that is, as long as they shut the fuck up and don’t get above themselves.

But does our friend, Perry Noble touch any of that?  Well no, he just focuses on the first couple of verses.  3-7 – the good stuff about saving people, but he nicely ignores the bad stuff.  He is quite happy to let women shut up and have babies.  They’re not to be trusted.

An appalling attitude, no wonder christianity is fucked.  And you mark my words, if you let radical fundamentalist of the christian persuasion run their radical social agenda women will be treated like dirt and blamed for every wrong doing on the face of the earth.



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One Response to 5 Conclusions I Firmly Believe

  1. Can I just say that, I love the fucking Bible so much! It’s awesome!

    Woman should shut up and do as they’re told, gays should be killed, slaves should be beaten properly (but not like, beaten to DEATH mind you) and when one conquers a town, one gets to murder every living thing except for the virgins. The virgins one gets to keep for ones self! Praise Yahweh!

    I mean, seriously, which right thinking male WOULDN’T want this treasure to be the perfect words of the almighty?

    The Bible is freaking AWESOME… if you’re a man (that isn’t gay or a slave). Praise Jesus!