Backside Invasion


I laughed so much at this that I just had to cut and paste it and then pass lots of silly comments about it.  I really wonder at the brain capacity of some people.  It surprises me that there is enough of it to co-ordinate fingers to keys.

As Christians, the horrors of homosexuality remind us of our humanity and the great demands that God asks of us.


We must remember that one day we will sit before the judgment seat and our worst acts will be brought to the fore. We will also be asked to account for our fellow man, our brothers and our fathers, our sons and our fellow Americans. One recalls that moment when God asked Cain about Abel, and Cain’s fateful reply, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Now more than ever we need to be the best brothers’ keepers we can be.

So now, for you to get into heaven you have to be responsible for other people’s ‘sins’?  And salvation is only for Americans?

Within this perplexing set of spiritual responsibilities,

I snorted when I read that!

it is vital that we fight vigilantly against the worst humanitarian disasters surrounding us. To do this, we need to educate ourselves. Sometimes this is difficult. Sometimes this is a realm only for the strong and mature. As we here today take a step into an offensive and demeaning corner of homosexual activity, I can earnestly say that now is one of those moments.

Humanitarian disasters are the human tragedy after an earthquake or a tsunami, people having sex that you don’t approve of is not a disaster.  You know you don’t have to peek around the corner don’t you?  There really is no need for you to look.

Sodomy. It is a vile word.

It is, please don’t use it, it’s a made up christian word.

God justly describes it as in an “abomination” worthy of destruction in both Genesis and Ezekiel.

And yet it was your god that put plump lovely buttocks and huge hairy dicks together and made backside invasion possible!  You should try it.

Medically, human sodomy is defined as penetration of the human anus by a foreign object.

Medically?  I think you mean religiously.  Medically,if they have a term, I think they use anal intercourse.

For homosexuals, this means one male inserts his erect phallus between the buttocks of another male and inserts it quite deeply.

Oh, a size queen!

He will then proceed to pull his member almost all the way out before violently poking it back in again.

Violently – that’s probably rape, although some guys do like it a bit hard.  What you’re describing here is anal intercourse.  You could have just said that, everyone understands that anal intercourse means fucking.

This rectal trespass causes indescribable pain.

Then you’re not doing it properly.

Pharmacy products and even saliva can be used to lubricate the robust activity, although many gays prefer to go without for that “rough and nasty” feeling.

You can get lube in the supermarket, it’s probably a bit cheaper.  Sounds like you might like it a bit rough and nasty, you kinky man you.

Within the homosexual element, there is a group called the “power bottomers.”

There is?  I’ll add it to the list, under “power front bottomers”

The power bottomer is not just an expert at sodomy; he is singularly dedicated to this sexual assault and will entertain no other. Simply put, it is the only way he will achieve ejaculatory gratification.

Ok, your language is very odd.  It’s not sexual assault if it’s consensual.  And so what if it’s the only way someone can get to orgasm.

Recently, power bottoming has moved out of the shadows from a perverse psychological dilemma to a full-blown cultural trend with shamelessly vocal adherents.

What he means is that he read an article on-line about it.  The ‘perverse psychological dilemma’ is really about finding a complementary partner.  If you like to take cock, you want to find someone who is happy to give you cock.  No point two bottoms going out if you’re just after sex.

These types of sodomites delight in their lack of carnal dimensionality and spend much of their free time seeking out a mate who can balance their “queer” equation.

They do?  You mean they search for suitable sexual partners on line – just like straight people do?

The homosexual will exhibit himself in three basic positions for power bottoming:

You’re very well researched.

• Standing against a wall with one’s exposed buttocks swaying out. This is most often employed in public restrooms and gym showers.

Experienced are you?

• Kneeling face down with one’s hands on the floor and the glutinous maximums gesturing upwards. Convenient for abandoned warehouses and private sadomasochistic “dungeons.”

LOL – you know some women do that too.  Oh, and we even do it at home!

• Lying on one’s back with hind legs in the air. Most often occurring in a domestic setting (such as the bedroom), this posture allows for the deepest form of homosexual penetration.

Hind legs?  As opposed to fore legs?  Perhaps you’re really into bestiality. What’s ‘homosexual penetration’? Tried it?  Was he too big for you?

In urban homosexual vernacular, the male penetrator may be a “total top” or “100% top.” “Versatile,” another expression in this lexicon of filth, is gay code for a man who pretends to be a well-endowed penetrator in public, but readily begs to be the recipient of sodomy in the bedroom or alleyway.

Alleyway?  Yes, yes, we are top or bottom and if we like it both ways we’re versatile, it’s a really practical way to find out who you’re getting into bed with rather than wait and be disappointed.  Versatile does not mean you’re lying – you just read that in one article about one man.

Any hint that a potential partner is a “versatile” will scare off a power bottom on the hunt, and he will move deeper into the bushes of a public park or on to the urinals at the local disco to seek his prey.

He moves deeper into the bushes?  Is that where the power tops are hiding these days.  Just as well you told us!

Although leaders of the homosexual community would be loath to admit it, the gay male penetrator top is quite elusive.

Umm… no.  Just coz you can’t get a root doesn’t mean there aren’t any tops around, it just means you’re a sloppy bottom and probably ugly to boot.  Remind me, who are the leaders of the homosexual community?

Attempting to classify him by clothing/body/character types is next to impossible. Because of his rarity, the phrase “power top” has no credibility in gay slang.

You really are making this up as you go along, aren’t you.

Experts have noted that the power bottom has changed the traditional submissive/dominant dynamic of the homosexual copulation ritual.

Your experts are christian fundamentalists who lie for a living.

In this new environment, the bottom takes on the role of the aggressor/hunter, prowling leather bars and anonymous wesbites for a most vigorous backside invasion possible.

Ha! backside invasion… adding that to my list of descriptions of sex.  And, I’ve already used it!  Thanks.

The top penetrator is submissive in this delicate game, letting the “bossy bottom” purchase him expensive cocktails and pay carfare.

I see, so you’re sick of having to pay the bill?

They may wear specially colored scarves and exhibit chest hair to communicate what role they intend to play in this disgusting, fast-paced action.

Hang on, you just said it’s impossible to classify a top by his clothing/body/character type.

Most often, the bottom can be identified by his bearded face, sarcastic flippancy and very tight slacks (to show off the buoyancy of his buttocks).

I think you’ve stumbled into a Bear bar – careful, someone will eat you up!

The power bottom is unrepentant about his effeminate behavior, eschewing any discussion of the immorality of anal violation. This is not to say this type is quiet. Indeed, most are overly loquacious during a physical encounter, cooing then demanding, snarling and then shouting. One clinician has likened it to bearing witness to a veritable convention of Tourette’s sufferers, a shower of relentless profanity and human fluids that sickens as well as fascinates.

The clinician probably needs to find a new boyfriend, he’s current shag sounds unstable and girly.

Over time, the power bottom will come to be defined by his rectum.

His rectum has a name? Perhaps you mean people call him ‘asshole’.

His anus will become a sort of personal occultic shrine, a thing he cares for constantly, pampering it with talc, deep cleaning its pipes and even whitening its ruddiness through medical procedures (see my report on anal bleaching).

Yes, some men like to keep their bottoms clean.  Some women too, I suspect.  Don’t you wipe your arse?

He will spend night and day thinking of the reproductive organs of his past and future conquests, memorizing girth and length, curvature and angularity, foreskin and stamina.

Yeah, men.  They think about sex a lot.  Seems you’ve got a few good memories to fall back on now you can’t find a top.  That should help as you stroke your phallus.

He will view illicit pornographic films and linger in public toilets.

There’s toilets that show porn?  Where.

As this sad predilection overtakes him, family and friends will be cast aside as he seeks out even larger phalluses to fulfill his accursed needs.

You’re projecting again, dear.

And each and every time he sits down, whether it be at the office or church, he will think of the foulest acts of sex.

Men do that, they think about how good it is to spray.

When broken down by race, ethnobiologists have found that the vast majority of power bottoms are Caucasian or light-skinned Latins.

Really?  Perhaps they need to get out of New York or LA.

Whether because of hereditary endowment or social stigma, many blacks prefer the role of penetrator.

Yeah, that’d be because they’ve got big dicks.  Everyone knows that.

Few studies have been done on the significance of anal sex among Asian homosexual males, though anecdotal evidence suggests it is quite rare.

You should visit a few twink bars baby.  Plenty of Asians there wanting cock.

This is surprising, given the fact that Asian heterosexual females engage in sodomistic intercourse far more often than their white female counterparts.

You’re an expert on everything aren’t you!  I bet you live in a high rise and spend your day peeping into other buildings with a high powered telescope.

This statistical anomaly could be explained by the fact that a growing number of white male/Asian female couples exist and that they have been introduced to the act of anal intimacy through atheism and transsexual pornography.

I’m sure if there was such an anomaly you could explain it like that, probably you’d find a proper scientific study would prove your hypothosis wrong, but that’s what science does. But you probably don’t want to know that.

The number of white males who are sodomizing Asian females may also account for the large number of white males being sodomized in male-on-male encounters, for there is a strong overlap of white males who date Asian females and white males who pursue homosexual acts.

Where are you getting this rubbish from?

Indeed, ethnographers have not yet classified the white male who is characterized by this dualistic nature– appearing publicly with Asian women and privately being anally raped by groups of Latin or black males.

You’re really serious aren’t you.  You do understand that if it’s private and consensual it’s not rape.  And groups of latin or blacks?  Wow.

Experience has shown, however, that this growing subset of the American population may pose moral and societal risks for future generations and it is vital that today’s Christians take note of this outrageous trend.

You seem to have a lot of experience.  Just because you can read a few articles doesn’t make it the ‘norm’ any more than a Hollywood film is based on reality.  Now, get on to Manhunt and change “Versatile” to “Bottom” and buy some lube.


A little more research shows Christwire to be a satrical website.  I hate that it’s getting so hard to tell the real christians from the fake christians!  That explains why I was laughing so much! Nicely done!




This entry was posted in Rant.

One Response to Backside Invasion

  1. Mikey Bear says:

    Kneeling face down with one’s hands on the floor and the glutinous maximums gesturing upwards.

    I think the Christian fucktard who wrote this article meant Gluteus maximus, but who knows. He’s more full of shit than most arseholes.