http://www.myintimatemarriage.com/ssch/
I love sex, just can’t get any. However, I’m thinking that perhaps I’ve missed out on something when I finally saw that light (there is no light, no god!) and perhaps, if sex is really as good as Robert Irwin is suggesting on his Christian Sex Secrets website, I should become a straight llama and marry a good catholic girl. (if there is still such a thing!)
There’s little gems in there:
But as much as I want to please my wife, I also want to please God.
So, I also spent quite a bit of time with Pastors and other
Christians that specialized in the sexual area of marriage.
ooooo…… you want to fuck god?
Sexual sensations that are intense, frequent and spiritual…
including orgasms that are so overwhelming that you will both be amazed that such pleasure exists in this world…
oooooo… you want to fuck the holy spirit? I’m not sure what sort of sex you’ve been having, but generally a good outcome is overwhelming – perhaps you need to try gay sex. (No, wait, that’s just me)
It’s worth a read, the whole page. It’s a great way to sell sex and christian faith all at the same time, I mean really, he’ll help you find the male g spot, I guess he’s not suggesting you become a bum bandit, but I suggest you insert your finger and wiggle it about till it feels good – and perhaps say a few Hail Mary’s while you’re doing it, just so you know it’s a holy act.
The real gem, and final proof for the existence of god is right down the bottom of the page:
P.S.S. You did not find this site by chance. With God, there are no “coincidences.†You were meant to find this site because God cares about you, your marriage… and your sexual satisfaction!
Now I know that the almighty cares about me getting my rocks off, I’m back to banging other male llamas. You go you god thing.