Hepatitis Scare – Get Vaccinated Against Jesus

So, Christmas Day, you being the good little catholic that you are, head off to church to partake in the ritual eating of the flesh and blood of your lord and saviour. Not this protestant version of it being symbolic. You are catholic, you believe that the little round host thingy that you are about to consume has been turned into the flesh of your god. You then drink from the cup of wine and believe that it is no longer wine but the real blood of your jesus-on-a-stick deity. It’s called transubstantiation.

communion host

After the magic words, this is the real flesh of jesus

The magic words are said, the host, the wafer, the bread, the little round disk, changes into the real flesh of jesus and the hungry catholics consume it.  Cannibals.

But imagine then discovering, that the perfect saviour host, the thing that will bring you eternal bliss when you live forever with him in heaven is in fact a conduit for the transmission of hepatitis A, and you now must go back to church to get jabbed so you don’t contract the disease.

You filthy slut jesus.  How dare you play around and contract hepatitis and not use proper protection, infecting all the faithful.  How can your perfect body be contaminated.  How is something so sacred allowed to be come dirty.

Oh, must be the devil

The arsehole.

Or….it’s not really the body of christ?  Surely not.  Just as well it was only hep A, otherwise the lord would no doubt have stepped in and stopped it all.

This entry was posted in religion.

Comments are closed.